Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Midnight Talk: Insecurities

It's almost 12AM and I've just done uploading new stuff to my online store. Then I remember writing this post a few weeks ago out of frustration but it was not yet finished so I left it on draft for awhile.

Sooo I feel like we're most likely to feel insecure at night. Like, all of your evil thoughts are some kind of nocturnal animals that only appear at nights, hoping to eat you alive.

But wait, are they really evil thoughts? Or are they just brutally honest ones?

Maybe they're both.

As a human being, we feel insecure sometimes. Maybe about our bodies, the shape of our face, our voice, about how much money we have in our bank account, about our social life, about our love life, about our relationship, about our intelligence, our passions, our opinions, about the way we talk, about our career, and the list goes on and on, to the point it could defeat the Great Wall of China in length.

When I was a kid, I remember being insecure of my bad eye sight. Even though I use glasses, I still can't see well. It's from birth, as a side-effect of having albinism. Anyway, it was a big deal for me then in elementary haha. I remember being offended by some kids in my class and some teachers because I couldn't see well, even though I can't remember exactly who they all were and what they had said to me. I remember being scared to death each time a new school year was about to begin. Then my mom would tell me that there's nothing to worry about (which I could only relate to after a few years later).

So I might have had cried when a few teachers didn't care / trust me about my eye condition and like, questioned me in front of the class. I might have had troubles completing my notes and writing the exam questions because I couldn't see the whiteboard well. I might have had troubles cheating during exams because I couldn't see my seatmate's answers at all.

But good news is, we all grow up.

Firstly, I'd like to tell you that in my opinion, there are two types of insecurities. First, insecurities about things you can't change. Second, insecurities about things you can change.

I started to learn the fact that there are some things that we couldn't change in this life, e.g. my bad eye sight. So the only thing we could do is to change our perspective about it! Embrace your imperfections and flaws, because that's when you stop being offended by the small comments that other people give, either intentionally or not. That's when you can really be free. That's when you open your eyes to see the people who care about you and are willing to help you. By then, life would be 300% easier to live.

And as for the things you can change, like for example, your career life, do your best. Learn from the experienced people in the field, both succeed and failed ones. Learn from their success and also their failures. Learn new stuff to get better. Do lots of experiments. Go out from your comfort zone because you're not gaining anything from it aside from a feeling of safety. It'll probably take lots of effort and time to change a career life, and you may fail a few times, but in the end it's worth it, you know. Because each failure gives new lessons we can learn from.

The same goes with other things too.

Sooo in summary, I think it's normal to bump into our insecurities once in awhile, but don't let them continue ruining your life. Do something about it. Or if you can't, do something about your perspective about it.

And lastly, always believe in yourself. Believe that you can improve.

I hope this post helps you in a way. Also, tell me how do you take care of your insecurities! Maybe we can learn from each other. :)

emilywip x

P.s. Other than insecurities, night times are also when I think about cheesecake. ASAP. SEND HELP.

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